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Nathan and his wife Wanda, both grew up in pastor's homes. Nathan
became a youth pastor in his teens and a pastor at age 20. He
graduated from Grand Canyon University and shortly afterward married
Wanda. Next they moved to Fort Worth, Texas where Nathan earned a
Master's in Divinity degree from Southwestern Baptist Theological
Seminary in 1977.
Nathan and Wanda have been married for over 35 years, have three
children, 9 grandchildren and reside in El Cajon, California where
they minister to people all over the world who come for ministry in
addition to traveling to churches hosting FTFM seminars.
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(Nathan Daniel and his wife Wanda pictured above)
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Many years ago, the Lord allowed me to be hurt in a church
relationship. I was a pastor and loved my church, as pastors do.
During that time, I was deeply hurt by the words and actions of one
of the church’s leaders. I did not realize how much I had been hurt,
but the pain went very deep. Months later, I developed chronic back
pain. Unaware of the relationship between my emotions and my bodily
health, I began going to doctors to find medical answers to my back
pain. The doctors took x-rays and ran tests but could not find
anything physically wrong. I was unable to recall any incident of
falling or lifting that might have caused the pain. One doctor
finally prescribed pain medication, but even that did not provide
much relief. As the months dragged on and the pain worsened, I
eventually was unable to sleep on my back at night.
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Gradually, other symptoms emerged. I would be
overcome with waves of depression that caused me to withdraw
from people. I wanted to spend most of my time alone because I
felt safer. It seemed like I would be having a good day, and
then an event or thought would trigger the depression. It was
almost like something would cloak me, like the cloud over the
head of the little cartoon character. I even withdrew from my
young children who needed their daddy to love them and play with
them. There were financial pressures because of the problems in
the church. I felt like I was in a prison without bars, but a
prison nonetheless.
This went on for two long years. I did not have anyone to talk
to. I was a pastor. I was supposed to have the answers, but I
did not. Nor did I know anyone who had been through something
like this and was walking in freedom. |
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One day while I was alone with God, praying and studying the Word, I
told Him that I realized I was in a spiritual prison and would do
anything to get out. He showed me that there was anger and hatred in
my heart. He also showed me that, if I would go to the church leader
who had hurt me and ask him to forgive me for hating him, I would be
set free. The idea of humbling myself before such a person was
unappealing to me, but I did it because I so desperately wanted out
of my prison.
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| I made the appointment and went to meet with the
man. He had been my associate but was now the pastor of the
church I had left. I asked him to forgive me for hating him. He
said he forgave me then added that I did not know how to pastor
a church. I wanted to smack him, but instead just got up and
walked out. The depression lifted immediately, and within two
days my back pain was also gone. I felt like a hundred pounds
had been lifted off my shoulders. I could feel the blessed
presence and freedom of the Lord again. The Holy Spirit, who is
able to “pierce as far as the division of soul and spirit, of
both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and
intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12), had cut into my heart
and taken out the splinter. I only wished I had known to go to
the Surgeon two years earlier. |
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